Archive for April, 2013

Samuel Adams White Lantern

Posted: April 30, 2013 by Kenny in Craft
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white lanternCountry of Origin:  United States
Alcohol Content:  5.5%
Sequence:  Second
Finished:  Yes, oh yes!
Vessel:  Glass by way of can

On a nice warm April afternoon, the kids were playing in the back yard, I was getting the BBQ started for some grillin’ and the whole extended family was there.  Time for a special beer with Mark.  Next in line from the 174,092 Sam Adams beers was White Lantern, another Spring Thaw beer.

Damn, do they know how to make a witbier! I mean this was fantastic. Just the right amount of citrus, cloudy colour..just a good wit to bier ratio all over!  After the poo-poo Canadian Wheat I had the day before, this was simply amazing. I think I need to move to Boston.


Flying Monkeys The Matador

Posted: April 30, 2013 by Kenny in Craft
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spring-beer-matadorCountry of Origin:  Canada
Alcohol Content:  9%
Sequence:  Eighth
Finished:  Yes, barely
Vessel: Glass by way of big ass bottle

UPDATE: Warren thinks he’s figured it out:

If your going to be in the bathroom the next morning with the sh!ts, they might was well put the pine air freshener right in the bottle

The wife came across this during her last trip to the LCBO. She saw this big red box and was intrigued. Upon reading said box, she discovered that it was Flying Monkeys 8th anniversary ale, contained 88 IBU (extremely hoppy) and packed a 9% ABV. THIS is the reason I called Pat over, I definitely needed help with this one.

Once we opened it up and poured it out, all we could smell was Christmas. There was a pungent smell of pine trees coming from our glasses. By this time, we’ve had a lot to drink, so we just jumped right, caution threwn to the wind (BTW, after drinking this beer, I was a little “out of it” and invented a new word; Threwn, the past tense of thrown)

Here are our thoughts, as written on my phone during drinking:
Tastes like liquid pine tree
Cleaning solvent like
No sir, I do not like it!

This was the hardest beer to drink that I’ve had in a while (to be followed up the next day with the WORST beer I’ve had all year)

While we were drinking it, the wife hopped onto the net to see how high up the IBU scale this beer was, assuming the scale went to 100. SO far from accurate. The Matador isn’t even on the light of the 100 hoppiest beers ever made. Top spot going to another Flying Monkey brew, Alpha Fornication at 2,500! Bring it on!

Radical Road Canny Man

Posted: April 29, 2013 by Kenny in Craft
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canny manCountry of Origin: Canada
Alcohol Content:  9.1%
Sequence:  Third
Finished:  Took a while, but we did it
Vessel:  Glass by way of ornate, corked and caged bottle

This was a beer that Mark’s sister gave him for his birthday. He took one look at it and decided that needed reinforcements.

Canny man is a scotch ale or a wee heavy, which I had never heard of before. We’ve had beers that have tasted like whisky, but none that were purposely aged for 71 days in old scotch barrels. That just seems weird.

When we opened it up (no flying cork, unfortunately), the kitchen started to smell like scotch. Now, being a man who enjoys a good 18 year old (scotch, pervert!) I was intrigued.  Once we poured it out, it got worse. Then we stuck our noses in it and it was the strangest combination of scotch, wood and beer. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the flavour.

The first taste is always the worst, and gawd that hurt! I couldn’t even begin to describe Mark’s face. Apparently he didn’t like it. I, on the other hand, hated it. Apparently wee heavy’s are not my thing.

Oh, remember that 18 year old scotch I like? well, this tasted like it was spiked with 18 DAY old scotch. The smokey after taste was still in my mouth three days later. It’s like I licked an ashtray for an hour.

Land Shark Lager

Posted: April 28, 2013 by Kenny in Imported
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land-shark-lager-21354785Country of Origin: United States
Alcohol Content:  4.7%
Sequence:  Second
Finished:  Yes
Vessel: Bottle

Another from the Total Wine collection from Florida. I had seen this beer in bars and restaurants around Florida, but never stopped at any of them to have a drink….kids!

It said it was Island Style Lager, which means absolutely nothing to me. What was that supposed to mean? Fruity? Sandy? Mostly water? Turns out it means “tastes like Corona” if they had a stronger version.

Seriously, it has no smell to it, it has a clear yellow color, comes in a clear glass bottle and the sharks fin looks suspiciously like a lime

See?? Huh? Am I right?

See?? Huh? Am I right?

All the pictures online show it surrounded by palm trees, azure waters, sandy beaches and makes you think your drinking this exotic cerveza.  Then you read the bottle and see that its made in St Louis….Missouri…USA. In the middle of the country, 1,219 miles from Cancun.

Still, the beer wasn’t horrible, its just been done before. I don’t think there is room enough in my life to two low alcohol, pale yellow beers that come in a clear bottle.